I have just put the car away on Sunday afternoon. It's the 7th April 2024. I have been doing things like this for several years using a checksheet to make certain that I have covered everything.
Sometimes I immediately question myself about the accuracy of my observations and the questions are ALWAYS the same: 'Am I certain I have looked properly?'
Putting a YES in the box is designed to make me feel more sure I did it correctly. Often this is enough to make me feel OK. Today is a good example of that. I KNOW it has all been done correctly.
It always helps when Kenny is still here AFTER the check is complete as he was today. I always write down very clearly that he was. This helps reassure me.
In ALL the time I have been doing this my observations have ALWAYS been 100% correct.
What often does happen is that during the evening my mind typically picks on any aspect of that has been checked and then says, 'What if it isn't/hasn't?'. The neurotic DOUBT is always a feature of this.
In the worst case scenarios the doubts keep on turning round and round with the anxiety increasing UNTIL I am forced to go and chack again. In all cases the recheck is not needed.
Anxiety is reduced for a short while after a recheck but then it may return forcing yet another recheck. This is when I get caught in a CHECKING LOOP.
Checking loops are one of the most destructive aspects of the condition because the more checks I do, the more the anxiety increases.
